Get ready, Hogwarts
by Never And Ever
Summary: A girl is given a list of ways to annoy the cast of Harry Potter and decides to make it a reality.


**Hey fanfiction world! So, I have to repost this because apparently you aren't allowed to post lists. So… yeah. Enjoy. This is also my first stab at humour so criticism would be lovely. I will also be away for a week so I won't be able update until then.**

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She glanced up at Hogwarts, a smirk already on her lips. She looked down to the list in her hands, given to her by a mysterious being named Never, that read:

**1: Attempt to start a dance number in the great hall.**

**2: Attempt to re-enact A Very Potter Musical in the Great Hall.**

**3: Cast everyone as themselves and then tell them that they are acting out of character.**

**4: Turn around and scream "Oh My God! IT'S YOU-KNOW-WHO!" at random times.**

**5: During potions. Especially during potions.**

**6: Ask Snape if you can see his dark mark.**

**7: Ask Snape to Madame Puddifoots.**

**8: When he rejects you burst into tears, start sobbing into his robes and say, "I thought you loved me, Sevvie!"**

**9: When Harry and Draco are fighting, shout "JUST SHAG ALREADY!"**

**10: When they attempt to hex you into oblivion, just say, "What? Everyone can see the sexual tension," and look innocent.**

**11: Repeatedly ask Remus if he is an animal in bed and wink suggestively.**

**12: Call Lucius Malfoy 'Lucy'.**

**13: Send a letter home to the first year Muggleborns parents, casually telling them that their children are enjoying Hogwarts and look forward to learning Satanic rituals in the near future.**

**14: Randomly fall to the ground clutching your forehead screaming "He has Sirius!"**

**15: Randomly fall to the ground holding your left forearm screaming "He is summoning me! The Dark Lord awaits!"**

**16: Run around Hogwarts screaming "Enemies of the Heir beware!" while holding a plastic snake.**

**17: Call Draco ferret face.**

**18: Charm Draco's mirror to show a ferret whenever he looks in it.**

**19: Walk up to Ron and say in a serious voice "You have dirt on your nose".**

**20: Scream "OH MY GOD WOLFSTAR!" whenever you see Remus and Sirius together.**

She smirked as she re-read the list. As she walked to the doors she whispered "Get ready Hogwarts, Taila is here,"

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The students and staff were all quietly eating lunch, talking amongst themselves and enjoying the delicious house-elf food. The only oddity about the day was that Dumbledore was missing- in a ministry meeting in London. Other than that, it was a calm, normal day. The peace of the hall was disturbed when a large bang was heard from the entrance hall. Several students looked toward the doors and frowned. Just as everyone was forgetting the noise the doors burst open and behind them was a girl. The girl looked decidedly muggle, if it weren't for the wand in her hand. She looked around the hall with an evil smile on her face and a shiver ran down the nearest student's spines. The girl had a large lightning bolt drawn on her head in smudged black marker and plastic black glasses over her eyes, as though she was trying to impersonate Harry Potter. She strode up to the teacher's table, werewolf paw shaped shoes clacking on the floor. She turned around to face the assembled students and said, "Okay everyone! Places!" The students looked around in confusion. Who was this girl? Snape stood and looked at the girl, "Now, I don't know who you are, but I do know that-"He was interrupted by the girl flinging her body towards him with a shout of "Sevvie-Poo! Did you miss me?" Snape extracted the girl from his body and shoved her away from him. "Who are you, girl!" he said.

"I'm Taila! But you can call me Your Worst Nightmare, Mrs Lupin, Mrs Black, Mrs Snape-"The girl, Taila, said. She was interrupted by Snape shouting "Mrs Snape! What do you mean Mrs Snape?"

The girl, Taila, looked confused. "Don't you remember, Sevvie? Don't you remember me?" She said, pouting. Suddenly her head snapped up and she looked towards the assembled students. "Well, what are you waiting for? Places! Let's get this show on the road!" She shouted.

A sixth year Slytherin stood. "What do you mean, places? He said. All around him students muttered in agreement.

Taila glared at him with such anger that the tall, strong boy blushed. "I obviously mean for you idiots to get in your positions for the dance! C'mon, you lot!" when no one moved she clapped her hands and everyone was suddenly thrown from their seats and flung over to an individual spot in the great hall. Everyone was lined up shortest to tallest and their uniforms were changed into costume of their own house animal.

"That's more like it!" Taila said with glee, a mad glint in her eyes. She clapped again and strange, muggle music began play. The students were struggling to move but they were un-able. They were stuck in the positions they had been put in, as though they had been glued to the floor.

"One, two, one two thr-"Taila stiffened and fell forward, hitting her had against the stone floor. Behind her stood McGonagall, who was now looking down at the girl in a mixture of horror and understanding, holding her wand up. From the badly-drawn lightning bolt, to the 'I ship Wolfstar!' embellished shirt, right down to the heavy, werewolf paw boots, this girl was exactly what she had been warned about. Just days ago Dumbledore had received an anonymous letter saying that "The she-demon was coming to Hogwarts!" The castle had been under surveillance, believing that the 'she-demon' was one of Voldemort's Death Eaters. This, however, seemed to fit better. This _girl_ would certainly would be trouble.

"Is-Is she dead?" A Hufflepuff second year, Harold Cart, asked as the students began shaking their limbs to get rid of the sudden stiffness they felt in them. It seemed that with Taila unconscious the spell had stopped working and the students were free to move.

McGonagall glanced up at the students. "I'm afraid, Mr Cart, that she is most certainly alive, and she will be here for quite a long time." McGonagall sighed and prepared herself for a long, long year.

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